MizGeminiStarz’s Rants

On December 27, 2008, just after midnight, my cousin, Ryan Graefnitz was taken from this world in the most violent way.  He was shot twice in a robbery in Kankakee, IL.  The first shot only wounded him.  He fell down, leaving a grotesque wound from the corner of his mouth all the way to almost his ear, but got back up and tried to run.  The "friends" who had driven him to the place of the murder took off upon hearing the first gunshot, leaving Ryan for dead.  The second gunshot was not from a handgun.  The murderer went back to the house and got a loaded shotgun and shot the wounded Ryan point blank in the back leaving his midsection gone.  He was on his way to meet my Aunt and Uncle at a local bar to have some drinks and celebrate the Christmas weekend (technically it was the 27th, but to Ryan it was still the night of the day after Christmas).  The murderer was arrested the morning of Ryan's funeral on New Year's Eve, but not before a showdown with the police requiring the swat team to come in.  He is 17 years old.  He will have his arraignment on Monday, Jan. 5, 2009 and be charged with first degree murder and conspiracy to commit homocide.  My family is very torn up.  They will never be the same.  Ryan was a free-spirited, big hearted, and often naive young man.

Visit Kids Cancer Crusade HERE to read about what they do for our brave little warriors and their families.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Petition

Right now, more than ever, we are in need of our supporters to step up for our organization and our families. It doesn't have to cost you a penny, just a few moments of your time.

For two years the purchase of the domain www.kidscancercrusade.org was kindly donated to Kids Cancer Crusade, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, by the owner of NgiNeThemba Designs & Domains. The company was recently sold and the new owner felt that since the company purchased the domain for the organization, Kids Cancer Crusade should be required to purchase it from him for $2000 (matching another offer he had received for the domain) in order to continue its use.

However, the new owner agreed to the terms that if Kids Cancer Crusade could supply a petition obtaining 1500 signatures declaring that, although not illegal, what he has demanded of the organization was unfair and hurts the organization and the services they provide, a judge can rule that he must repay the $2000. He agreed to the terms because he doesn't feel Kids Cancer Crusade has the support. Please help us to not only show him he is wrong but to get the money back so it can go to where it should - to our children and their families.

Our Board met a couple weeks ago to discuss exciting new ways for this organization to grow and help our families in different ways, but this situation is going to hit us hard. Most of you know that we are new and small and always want to dedicate as much funds as possible to directly help our kids and their families, but the network that is our website is a critical role of Kids Cancer Crusade as well.

Please click the title of this journal entry or click here to visit our online petition site and sign the petition. When you are finished, please send this information to everyone in your email contacts, post it on your blog, website, myspace, facebook...we need to get the word out. We have 90 days.

If you ARE in a position to donate, consider donating in honor/memory of one of our children, or another child. Family and friends may even be honored to have a donation made in their name rather than receiving a gift they do not really need this Christmas.

You can snail mail a check donation to:
Kids Cancer Crusade
PO Box 1045
Fremont, OH 43420

Or make a secure online donation at the following link:

It's been a long time since I've been around.  I got a new job working with children in a home care setting that have behavioral problems (mostly due to abuse).  I like it a lot but its consuming a lot of my time...lol.  Also been pretty busy with the kids here at home.  It's summer time and I CAN'T WAIT until school starts again!  ;-)  For those of you that I stumbleupon to, I updated my firefox to a new version and it doesn't allow the stumbleupon add on yet :-( but hopefully it will soon.  I have managed to get a chance to read most of the posts you guys are sending me and there were some good ones!  I just wanted to pop in and say I'm still here, just real busy this summer.  I also wanted to share the video footage of when my brother came home from Afghanistan.  Its a little late, I know, but better late than never, right?!  Well, I'll be talking to you all soon!  Keep up the good fight!!
Jenn

PS- If someone could stumble this I'd really appreciate it!!!

Hi Everyone,
First I want to say how sorry I am that I haven't been able to keep up with all your great posts lately.  It has been a difficult and busy time the past few days.  I still have them all saved to read when I get some time.  They are always a peaceful place for me to escape the craziness of the day and have "my" time.

My little sister (well, she's not so little anymore and only 2 years younger than me) was out on a date with her husband for their anniversary in early April.  During dinner her heart started acting funny, having some scary palpitations and she decided to go to the emergency room.  While she was there they decided to check her thyroid.  They found a nodule on it and set up an appointment with her doctor for an MRI (maybe a CAT scan, not sure).  The scan did indeed show a nodule on her thyroid.  A very small one, but still there.  She was scheduled for a biopsy just to be sure.  My mom has a history of thyroid disease and had her thyroid removed while she was actually pregnant with Nicole (my sister).  We all expected this to be the same thing.  Her biopsy was on Monday (May 12) and earlier today the nurse called to let her know that they were finalizing her biopsy results and scheduled her to come in for a consultation with a specialist this Friday morning.  Nicole called me and was a little worried at how quick the results came back and how urgent the nurse seemed in scheduling the consultation with a "specialist".  I tried my best to calm her and while I was on the phone with her she had to abruptly let me go because the doctor was calling on the other line.  About 5 minutes later my mother called me on her way home from work.  About 2 minutes into that conversation my sister was calling back on the other line, which immediately threw up a red flag for me.  I told Mom to hold on and answered Nicole's call.  When I clicked over there was soft sobbing and a tiny voice saying, "Jenn?"  I asked, "What's wrong, Nicole?  What is it?" And she just cried, "I have cancer."  And cried some more.  I told her to hold on, that our Mom was on the other line and I was going to have Mom call her.  She said ok and I clicked over.  I was a bit frantic and thinking back it may not have been wise to tell my mom that her daughter has cancer over the phone while she was driving.  I just clicked over and said, "Mom you have to call Nicole RIGHT NOW.  She has cancer."  My mom screamed and cried and screamed.  Finally she let me know she was calling her.  I clicked back over and let Nicole know.  We spent part of the late afternoon with Nicole and then I came home to sit and worry.  Her consultation is Friday morning.  I've been doing some research and there are a few different types of cancer.  The 2 most common have a high success rate for being cured.  VERY HIGH.  The other types don't have a good outlook at all.  There's really nothing more to look up until we know what kind she has.  I'm hoping they will let her know on Friday.  She has to have surgery pretty much right away to remove her thyroid and go from there.  I think my mind is doing a denial number on me.  Me, my mom, my sisters, my brother....we are so close.  I don't know what I'd ever do without her.  Please keep Nicole in your prayers.  We have a battle ahead of us.  If I don't get a chance to get on here a lot in the next coming weeks, I apologize.  I'm pretty scared.
Thanks guys.
Jenn

Me, Nicole and Mom when Nicole was born. 
July 1981

He's SGT. FREEDOM!
Spread the word!

http://www.sgtfreedom.org/

THE SERGEANT FREEDOM CAMPAIGN-A VOICE FROM THE HOMEFRONT SUPPORTING TODAY'S WARFIGHTER!

I SGT FREEDOM, DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR (OR AFFIRM) THAT I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES AGAINST ALL ENEMIES, FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC; THAT I WILL BEAR TRUE FAITH AND ALLEGIANCE TO THE SAME; AND THAT I WILL OBEY THE ORDERS OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND THE ORDERS OF THE OFFICERS APPOINTED OVER ME, ACCORDING TO REGULATIONS AND THE UNIFORM CODE OF MILITARY JUSTICE. SO HELP ME GOD."

"I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES AGAINST ALL ENEMIES FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"GET IT?! GOOD! NOW GET OUTTA MY WAY AND LET'S GET THIS SECTOR CLEARED!"

***The SGT FREEDOM CAMPAIGN is currently in the works to become a Non Profit Organization and I am doing all that I can to make sure that I can get in touch with EVERY TROOP SUPPORTING ORGANIZATION OUT THERE! SO! Please, help spread the word. - SGT FREEDOM***

It's 2 am.  I'm in the bathroom with the shower running standing over my brother.  He lays on the floor, naked, with his Army issued underwear the only thing preserving any kind of dignity for him.  Thoughts swirl about me.  I wonder how this night turned out like this and how we ended up here.  I run my fingers caressingly through his hair and talk soothingly to him about God forgiving him and how he needs to forgive himself.  I talk to him about how the good he's done far outweighs any bad.  I remind him how much value he has in my life and so many others who love him so much.  I talk and talk and most of what comes out of my mouth I know is being given to me at the right time by the man upstairs.  He talks through me, in a way.  I pray.  I pray silently, I pray aloud.  I tell him God has a plan for him and he can't even begin to comprehend what that plan is but that it plays into this whole mess somehow.  The water is running in the background.  I worry that the hot water will run out before I have the chance to get him to agree to get in.  He stops the screams and sobs for just a moment and I think if I keep talking it will just get better.  His pregnant significant other is by the toilet feeling helpless, I'm sure.  His daughter sleeps in the next room.  While I talk she washes his back, his legs, his feet with a soapy towel.  I say the wrong thing.  I didn't mean to.  He faces winces in the most horrific style and his mouth opens up to let out a silent scream.  Tears roll down his cheeks.  He finally gets out his scream.  His voice is hoarse from hours of this already.  His hands go up and he stares at them apparently terrified.  "There's blood on my hands!  There's blood on my hands!"  He starts his chant.  I think he's freaking out about a cut endured while punching some glass.  I assure him that it isn't that bad, we'll fix it up.  So stupid.  It isn't what he was talking about.  I just lay on the floor with him and take his hands that seem to be the source of all fear at the present moment and wrap his arms around me.  He squeezes.  Hard.  In order to avoid saying the wrong thing again I just keep repeating, "It's okay.  It's okay."  After a little while we get him to sit in the shower, in his underwear, and I see him as I saw him as a child.  She washes the rest of him and then he stands up on his own.  The shower is apparently having the calming affect I had hoped for.  He slips, he falls, he gets back up.  Then from a place deep inside of him he grunts, "Hooah.  Hooah.  Hooah."  This is also repeated.  It's much better than things he was chanting before.  I think it makes him feel better.  I chant with him.  He smiles.  He laughs.  He dries off, gets in bed, has a glass of water, says I love you, falls asleep.  I cry.  I am angry.  I am angry at every person who spews the soundbytes about hating the war and not the soldier, supporting the soldier but not the war.  Some may read this and say, "Why?!  See what the war DID to this soldier?"  Stop right there.  My brother listened to one of his own family members ask him if he killed anyone that wasn't armed.  In essence accused him of being a murderer.  He meant no harm.  When I asked why the hell he would even ask him that, his response was, "I saw it on the news."  What message are we relaying to our soldiers when they return home?  What are we saying to them if we don't support what they were doing?  This is what you get when you support the soldier and not the war.  You aren't supporting the soldier at all.  The soldier would rather you HATE him because then, at least, he can brush off your crazy views of what we're doing over there to you just being crazy.  It's deceitful.  When you say you support him and not what he does you are- (excuse my language here, I am ANGRY) - you are MINDFUCKING HIM.  And they don't need anymore mindfucks.  So next time you want to look good and say you support our soldiers, but not their war, why don't you just NOT.  We all know what you mean.  The soldier knows it best.  My brother went to war.  Physically he came back.  But my brother didn't come back.  I have faith that one day he will.  Until them stop your mindfucks and let him get better.
Sincerely,
One PISSED OFF sister of an AMERICAN SOLDIER.  

A few hours ago the doctor called Marissa with the results of her biopsy.  While it is preferable to have no condition at all, everyone is thankful that the condition she has, Cystic Teratoma, is NOT cancerous.  Cystic Teratoma is part of a group of about 7 or 8 Germ Cell Tumors.  It is the ONLY one that is not malignant!  Basically she will need scans every 6 months for the next two years because it can grow back/come back so prevention is the answer.  If no more of it comes back after 2 years, they will only have to come in annually after that.  So, no chemo, no radiation, no meds, none of that stuff.  It seems that Tyme was born with it, had it BEFORE she was born.  It isn't genetic, its just a fluke in her blueprints.  While the chance that it can come back is a good one, the chance that it won't is also good.  So, we are all just going to keep praying she never has to deal with it again.  This is really good news for Marissa, Steve, Tyme and the rest of the family.  I just wanted to let everyone know that has been reading my blogs that she's going to be alright!  Marissa says for me to tell everyone who prayed for her daughter, Thank You.  She appreciates it and knows that it helped protect her baby. 

Tyme and Mommy

From Marissa's Blog Tonight:

Well, after days, hours and minutes anticipating the result of the biopsy the doctor finally. The cyst that was on her left ovary was called cystic-teratoma. Which is germ layers that did contain in hers ( hair, membranes, and urine).. pretty gross huh? We have to have anual check ups ever six months for two years to make sure her right ovary will be okay. How she got it? Well, it was her personal blue print.. it’s not genetic.. she was destine to have it before she was born. I am thankful that it is not cancerous however, I am still going to be concerned w/ her just because this could happen to her right ovary. Would the ultra sound found it when she was an infant well.. the doctor said, probably. So, what really makes bothers me is that damn doctor when she was born would not refer me to get the ultra sound and in the state of Indiana you must have a referal from the doctor before things like an ultra sound can be done. If all goes well... in the next 2 years well then he’ll decrease the anual ultrasounds to a year every six months. We to see him soon and then in a month later then we’ll follow up w/ him six months later! Did ya catch all that? Lol. I’m happy and glad that my baby is alright and I did ask him if we caught it in time.. he said, " yes" so, I take that as just in time with the tone of his voice. I thanked him for everything he did and he said, that he felt for our family and hopes were all at ease and doing good. So, to rap this up and for more information on this cyst you can google it. Until, next time. Thanks for all the prayers and, keep praying that her right one stays good.

Tyme and Daddy

This is from the blog Marissa has posted today on her myspace:

As most of you know Tyme seized and was rushed to the hospital w/ Steven on Saturday morning. I followed shortly behind them and dropped the kids off at Monica’s. I went to the hospital and found my baby w/ an ivy in her and wires attachted to her as well. She was crying and alls she could say was " stop" to the nurses and doctor when they were jabbing her or hearing her hear beat. I was an emotional reck. Steven was worried and couldn’t believe that they wouldn’t leave her alone as she dozed off to sleep. Jeremy came up to the hospital to see what was going on and he too was concerned. After 11hours at Home hospital and many tests they found that she has a mass in her stomach and that is why her stomach was so big. The doctors immediately called Rylie’s Hospital and had us transported there. Still we were in the dark on how sever this was. I rode w/ Tyme in the ambulance and she finally got to get some rest to Indianapolis. Jeremy and Steve followed behind us.

When we arrived to that hospital they took her to the ER and we waited about an hour until the surgeon doctor came in to speak w/ me and Steve. He explained that the mass NEEDED to be removed from her and he did not know where it was coming from or how she got it.. her surgery was scheduled to be at 8:30 or 9 pm so that would of been a couple of hours from then. I left catch my breath and call people to inform them on what was about to happen. I called Monica first since she had the children and, was so concerned. As I told her I began to cry so hard and of course
 Monica had as many question as we did but, yet again I couldn’t give them to her and she too began to cry on what was about to happen to her niece. I got off the phone w/ her and called Rhonda, Jenn’s mom and she got so freaked out before I told her it is rare that I ever call her so she knew something had to be wrong. Jenn called then and was shocked when I told her and she really didn’t know what to say.. well who would at something like this.
I then went back into the hospital and then Steve proceeded to call his father and other people and explain what was going on. The doctors came in at 8 :20 pm to take our baby to the OR  we were  in tears and didn’t know what to do. Jeremy finally made it back to the hospital from looking for a rental car for us and he too was shaken he stayed all night long until he knew his niece was going to be alright. I had so many people calling me asking " if she was alright." Two and a half hours later she was done w/ the surgery. She did very well and the doctors did have to remove her left ovary but they felt that she would be okay to have children in the future.
We got released from the hospital on Monday night. Things went okay despite the jabbing of the nurses and poor Tyme was scared of them. Jodi a friend of Moinca’s that lives in Indy was so incredibaly helpful she gave us rides to and from the hotel Steve stayed at ( due to the hospital polocy) and to some food joints and then drove us to Lafayette when we left the hospital. As, of now we still do not know what the mass is and we should be hearing from the doctor today to tomorrow then I will be asking all the questions that I have wanted to ask him earlier. I just want to Thank everyone for being so concerned for us as well as her. All the prayers did help and yes, Nicole you all did thunder the heavens! God did protect this little girl.. if the mass would of ruptured it would of killed her because of how much fluid was in her. The fluid was 800 cc and that means 1000 cc’s is one liter so.. the mass contained a little less than a liter. She is sleeping so good now. She is happy to be home, she is full of light and I though do not know if she is aware that her tummy is little. Steve thought all this time that her belly resembled his well, as I told him I think he should get checked out now lol. I’m very thankful that everyone was helpful through this rough time and those who called and, keep calling. It is appreciated. I will keep you informed on what the results is and, I just hope that the surgery is all that was needed. Well, thanks again and again and I will keep in touch. Until next time.

Tyme is still in the hospital and if everything goes as planned she should be coming home tomorrow.  The doctors have sent the cyst out for biopsy and results should be in sometime this week as to what it is, how long its been there, etc.  Other than that, Tyme is really tired and last I talked to Marissa (around 4 today) she was snoozing so deeply I could hear her loud snore...lol.  She needs it.  That little girl hasn’t really slept well in a month.  Marissa is very tired right now and Steve is catching up on his sleep in a hotel room nearby the hospital.  She’s starting to get frustrated with all the pokes and prods when her little girl just wants to sleep and can’t wait to get home.  Keep praying that the results of the biopsy are good news and I’ll keep you posted.
Thanks everyone.
Jenn